I’m alive and well!

So, I’ve been to the Training School in New York and today is the day that I can say I’ve been with my host family for 2 weeks! I decided to take some time off from everything, like the blog and my family back home, to really let myself get used to this whole new thing.

But from now on, I will post as often as possible, preferably every day and tell you about my au pair experience. See you soon!

Jag har varit på Au Pair skolan på Long Island och kan officiellt säga att jag har varit hos min värdfamilj i 2 veckor idag! I början bestämde jag mig för att låta mig själv slappna av och vänja mig vid allt det nya, vilket betydde avstånd från bloggar, Facebook och familj där hemma.

Men nu är det slut med det och jag kommer skriva inlägg så ofta som möjligt, helst varje dag om något intressant händer! Ses!!

COUNTDOWN 7 DAYS: Having doubts and getting to know other au pairs

A common thing amongst au pairs as the departure date comes closer is feeling sad, nervous and doubtful. It’s only seven days until I travel to New York and my feelings are all over the place. A part of me is happy and excited about the year to come, but I also feel so bad about the whole situation. I’ve started to doubt my decision to spend a year abroad and feel guilty for leaving everyone behind. Of course I know that they will be fine and still around when I return home, but I still doubt myself. Questions come up like why I have decided to live with strangers for a whole year or why I’m putting my life in Sweden on hold to work with children. Just why? Have I made the right call? All these things is hard to get through… Your parents might say it’s normal but you’ll all know they can’t really know without being in your situation. It’s hard to find support within your group of friends since they don’t understand. So, from a fellow au pair, I say:

“If you have doubts, if you’re scared or worried about the USA or your return, this is all normal things to feel.”

But if that doesn’t assure you, I recommend that you get in touch with other au pairs. This is a simple way to get tips and information about the journey you’re about to take. I first had some contact with other girls from Sweden, and later joined a WhatsApp group for all of the au pairs traveling to the training school on the same date. The easiest way to get in touch is by using Facebook. Look for a group for au pairs for the year you’re traveling in and the name of your organisation, like “Cultural Care Au Pair 2015”. Joining a group like this will give you a way to find other au pairs. Just write a post and you’ll find people living where you’ll live and others that will stay at the training school with you. Me and the other au pairs traveling the 17th of August have multiple WhatsApp groups and it has helped me a lot!

Having the support of others going through the same thing is more important than you might first imagine. You might have only days left until your departure date or as much as several months, but a support network is always a good thing to have. It’s a lot easier getting through those moments of doubts when you know you’re not alone. These girls and boys can help you decide on a suitcase or find out additional information about the training school and tips on how to travel like a pro. There are no downsides, so just go on and find your fellow au pairs. It will be worth it!

Better late than never…

My trip to Stockholm was quite the unexpected journey. I took the night train the day before my meeting and spent 8h half sleeping and half awake until I arrived at the station 4h before I was to have my meeting at the embassy. Even though I come from the third largest city in Sweden I still felt out of place in the morning pulse of Stockholm central station, but I took my time, had breakfast at Starbucks and figured everything out. The embassy advise you to only bring the important papers and documents for the meeting and that was why I decided to lock everything else in a locker at the station and only bring the absolute necessary like bus tickets and documents to the meeting. I took the bus so that I would be there 40 minutes before my meeting and I’m glad for it. The embassy was fenced in so me and the rest of the visitors waited in a line 10m away from the guard building by the fence for about 30 minutes while we one by one was allowed to go through the security check. It contains showing them your passport, belongings and the soles of your shoes. Then you remove your jacket and are allowed inside to go through the airport-like checkpoint. Guess if I was pleased when the guard, very pleased, said: “Well, that’s perfect.” when I showed him my nearly empty bag through the window… 

When inside of the main building I waited for my turn to give them my papers and just 5min later I had my interview through a glass window with a woman that asked me about five questions about my year to come. An example is: What are the names of your host children? They also took my fingerprints, signed my DS-2019 and took my passport for the visa.

The whole spectacle took about 75min and was a very simple process when I was prepared and I got my passport back only 5 days later! Unfortunately the weather in Stockholm was horrible with a lot of rain so I spent most of my time in a few shops and at the station meeting quite a few of interesting people. My travel companion, that’s what I call him at least, I met at the station before my departure in Malmö and his Swedish was unfortunately really bad. I helped the man to find his place on the train and later, after my meeting I ran into him again in Stockholm and helped him again. Those of you who are Swedish know my problem when I say: personal space disturbance. He did not get the message when I had my headphones in and read my Game of Thrones-book. For the others out there, us Swedes are quite cut off from each other and rarely speak to strangers. We like our own space to be stranger free. Sad but true.

I had one favourite individual though. I sat, reading the information about my job I was supposed to start the next week, when a guy not much older than me asked in English if the other seat was free. For a few minutes we were quiet and he played some game on his phone, until he suddenly started talking to me. He had been in Lithuania for two years and was now on a journey with his family through Europe. He said he was on his way to Copenhagen and later I learnt that the guy speaking perfect English was in fact from the USA. From Ohio to be exact, the state next to Colorado. Me, the girl who is so curious about anything American, was so stunned and unfortunately our encounter ended just a few moments later and we said goodbye without introducing each other. But that little meeting made the rest of my 8h on the station sweep by, because i had just experienced my first taste on the American friendliness!

If you have any questions about my embassy visit or about the visa application, just leave a comment!

My host family

I thought I’d tell you a bit about my host family and my schedule! When I arrive the 17th of August I will spend 5 days at the Cultural Care Training School on Long Island in New York. The 21st of August, I will board a plane that will take me to Denver, Colorado, where I will spend a year taking care of 4 kids. Now you might be thinking that that seems really tough, but I have a big perk! I will only work 26h per week, when most au pairs work 35h to 45h per week. The parents work from home, which means that they will take the kids to school most days and my day will not start until 12pm when I pick up the youngest from pre-school. The day will usually end at 5pm and I’ll most likely be free during the weekends. So I will have short days with a lot of action!

So, I’ll live in the Denver area and I didn’t really think about where I wanted to live. A dream would be where it doesn’t snow during the winter, but when Denver came up, it seemed like a good place to spend my year. I’ve read a bit about it, like that the city has over 300 days of sunlight, more sunlight than places on Hawaii! Crazy, right? It’s also got the second best drinking water in all of the USA, so no bottled water for me! Denver is at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, which means that it’s close to skiing resorts! Yey for that! Not that I’m big on skiing, but you can always improve!

But back to the family! They seem really great! I’ll have the choice to hang out with them as much as I want and the kids are just adorable. They have two boys and two girls, all between the ages of 5-9. So they will probably be a handful, but I know I’ll learn a lot!

I would love to tell you more, but right now, I don’t know much more… I made the final match about 3-4 weeks ago and it feels great, because they seem so normal! But I still have a lot left to find out about them. So, until then, this is all I’ve got.

The pre-departure process 4/4

Have you passed the three stages already? Well, good for you! If not, you can read more about them here. So, what does this last stage mean for the future au pair? Feelings! You will have so many feelings at this point and think about whether or not you’ve made the right choice moving across the globe. Family nights and dinners with your friends will probably mean so much more at this moment and you’ll want to suck it all in. Other than that, you will receive what I like to call the “Care Package”. In this you will get your DS-2019 (more about that later), your insurance card, a luggage tag, some additional information and congrats to the match and the last thing is a letter to your family, explaining the journey you are going to take. Because now you have decided to say yes to a family and there is a date set for your departure. If you already have sent in your health and police record, then all you really have left is the visa application. And, trust me, you’ll think it’s a tough process.

You will get all the help you need for the application from Cultural Care and you can easily call them if something comes up. Just follow their instructions and it will go as it is supposed to. The Swedish office in Stockholm sends out information about the application and where you pay, book your meeting at the embassy and apply. Following that list saved my future visa. In fact, I have my appointment the 8th of july, in just one week!

So, the first thing you do is to apply for the visa. This takes a while, so clear up your schedule! After that lengthy process, it’s time to pay for your application. For this, you will have to make an account on the embassy’s site and locate your application. The cost is, gasp, 1440 Swedish kronor or about 156€. After you’ve paid your fee, you will be able to book your appointment! You will then need the following papers for your interview:

When you get your passport back in about a week or two, remember to call your agency so that they know that your visa is correct and without any misspelling.

Now that you have your visa, you’ve submitted all papers to your agency and found a family, it’s time to say goodbye. This will be hard, but you will do it because you are probably going on the journey of your life. So have a go away-party and invite everyone you’ll miss. Exchange Skype-names and have a great time before the day comes and you have to pack your bags and go to the airport. Meet your fellow au pairs and fly to the big city, or should I say, apple?

Tips and tricks:

• Print out photos of your home, your family and friends and everything you’ll miss about your home country. Put them in a photo album and bring it with you to the USA.
• Send a care package to your host family with a letter and something special. Try to stay in touch with them before you go to let them know how excited you are.
• Buy presents for your host family for when you arrive to their home. I will tell you more about what I got for my host family in another post, but a tip is to buy something typical for your country.
• Don’t forget to exchange money so that you have dollars with you and see what options you have in activation your card for international travel.
• Buy luggage with TSA-locks. This lets the TSA open your bag if they want to inspect something without breaking the bag.

Do you have any questions or did I miss something? Please comment below!

The matching process 3/4

The matching process is probably the hardest part before you can board your plane, so listen up! As soon as you’ve submitted your online application, you will hear from the agency not long after. It is sent to the Boston office (if you chose Cultural Care like me) where they will read through it and decide if you are accepted. You can read more about the application process here and about how you decide which agency here. As soon as they’ve accepted you, you will be able to log into your new account if you follow this link. You will have access to this website even during the year in the U.S. and here you will see your family matches! You will also receive a package from Cultural Care with information, probably a some forms and a few documents, but also “My Au Pair Travel Kit”. This book holds a lot of information and exercises for your pre-departure training. Haven’t you already submitted your health and criminal record, do this now, because after saying yes to the family you will have your hands full!

You can only have one match at a time, while families can have multiples. To get a new match, that means either you or the host family has to remove the other from the page. Remember that this is a job application and that you have to be active and responsive during this process. That means checking your email and online account multiple times a day to make sure you notice a new match. There were times when I didn’t get a mail about my new match until two days after I saw it. And the same thing goes for the matches. It IS normal if you don’t get a match for a whole week or two. One week I would get 3 matches and I had a two week gap between two other matches.

During this time, you will also be able to upload a au pair video. 70% of all host families choose an au pair with a video, which means having one is a big perk! So even if you’re shy and hate being in front of the camera, put yourself out there and show them that you wan this! It doesn’t have to be a Hollywood-creation, it is enough that you show who you are. You will also have to do the MyAuPairCourses before you go to New York, so start with them as soon as possible. It will show your progression when you do them and is used combined with your “My Au Pair Travel Kit”.

So, now that you’ve uploaded your video and you’ve got an email from your first family, it comes to you to impress them during your meeting at (most likely) Skype. You will decide a time and remember that being flexible is the key! Prepare questions you’d like to ask them and answers to questions that they might be asking you. Maybe you both feel like this is the one, or you’ll let each other go and move on to another. However, saying yes is hard. So when you get there, just remember these questions:

1. Could you live with them for a whole year?
2. Do you have any doubts? Then ask about it!
3. Do you have similar interests?
4. Do you have the same expectations?
5. Do you have the right experience and competence needed?

Tips and tricks:

• Smile and show the family that you’re excited when talking to them via Skype. That gives them a positive feel of you.
• Be polite and don’t ask the questions about car access outside work hours or internet access until you have asked about the children. The family wants to find an au pair, not someone who only thinks of themselves.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for time to think or for another meeting! Just make sure they know that you want to make a mature choice.
• Don’t turn down a family based on location. You could get a family in your dream state, but they could also be a horrible match for you.
• Think 2 out of 3! Location, family and perks and choose two of them. You can rarely have it all so you have to put your priorities straight.
• Be creative while making your au pair video! Show them your strengths and what makes you special.
• Take responsibility! Check your email, even the trash inbox, daily!
• Put yourself out there and tell the family that you like them.
• Do the MyAuPairCourses in your own speed. Don’t rush, but don’t take too long!

But as I said, it’ll be hard. Really hard and you’ll doubt your choice. But you’ll make it one day and that will be the beginning of your journey!

Any questions or things I should add? Please comment below!